With Valentine’s Day right in the middle of February, we are surrounded by reminders of love and relationships. We thought this month it would be appropriate to spend some time talking about relationships and finance.
by Kate Welker, CFP®
Money consistently is listed as one of the top reasons for stress in relationships and causes for divorce. Money is one of those topics that people sometimes like to avoid, as if they don’t talk about it it won’t exist, and that just leads to more stress. Along with your Valentine’s dinner I want to encourage you to set up a money date.
Make it a real date. Mark it on the calendar, get a babysitter for the kids, put on a nice outfit. You want to be able to focus and still enjoy your time together.
Spend some time reviewing what your current status is. Take a look at your current accounts, your assets and your debts, income and expenses, to get a “snapshot” of what your financial picture looks like. Talk about your goals to see if you are spending your money in the right areas.If you’re not, ask why. Is it debt, unnecessary spending, or something else in your lifestyle? When you talk about these things together you have a teammate to work towards your goals with. It’s easier to say no to extra spending if there are two of you on board.
Check in on your feelings about your money. Do you feel stressed over your spending, do you feel like you aren’t saving enough, maybe you have plenty each month but you don’t feel in control over where its going. Whatever it is, spend some time discussing if you are happy with your money and why or why not.
If you decide there are changes to be made talk about what that looks like and what the next steps are.
It is extremely important to be honest, hiding financial problems leads to more stress and bigger problems. There is actually a term for this - financial infidelity. If you are hiding anything it will be extremely difficult to bring this up, but it needs to be addressed. If you are struggling with how to work through this you may want to enlist the assistance or a counselor or financial professional.
We hope you enjoy your money dates and it encourages you to do it more often. We would love to hear from you if you try this, let us know how it went!
