Love and Money

With Valentine’s Day right in the middle of February, we are surrounded by reminders of love and relationships. We thought this month it would be appropriate to spend some time talking about relationships and finance.

by Kate Welker, CFP®

Money consistently is listed as one of the top reasons for stress in relationships and causes for divorce. Money is one of those topics that people sometimes like to avoid, as if they don’t talk about it it won’t exist, and that just leads to more stress. Along with your Valentine’s dinner I want to encourage you to set up a money date.

Make it a real date. Mark it on the calendar, get a babysitter for the kids, put on a nice outfit. You want to be able to focus and still enjoy your time together.

Spend some time reviewing what your current status is.  Take a look at your current accounts, your assets and your debts, income and expenses, to get a “snapshot” of what your financial picture looks like. Talk about your goals to see if you are spending your money in the right areas.If you’re not, ask why. Is it debt, unnecessary spending, or something else in your lifestyle? When you talk about these things together you have a teammate to work towards your goals with. It’s easier to say no to extra spending if there are two of you on board.

Check in on your feelings about your money. Do you feel stressed over your spending, do you feel like you aren’t saving enough, maybe you have plenty each month but you don’t feel in control over where its going. Whatever it is, spend some time discussing if you are happy with your money and why or why not. 

If you decide there are changes to be made talk about what that looks like and what the next steps are.

It is extremely important to be honest, hiding financial problems leads to more stress and bigger problems. There is actually a term for this - financial infidelity. If you are hiding anything it will be extremely difficult to bring this up, but it needs to be addressed. If you are struggling with how to work through this you may want to enlist the assistance or a counselor or financial professional. 

We hope you enjoy your money dates and it encourages you to do it more often. We would love to hear from you if you try this, let us know how it went!

Fresh Starts - How Health AND Wealth Planning Intersect

by Kate Welker, CFP®

January is a time for fresh starts, resolutions, and goal setting. Resolutions notoriously fail so what can you do if you are heading into the New Year committed to making progress in your finances?

One thing at a time - instead of trying to accomplish everything at once, pick one task and focus on that. I also recommend making this a specific task. Some examples could be contributing 3% more to your 401k, saving 10% of your income, increasing your life insurance, or reviewing your will. Once you are comfortable with that item you can choose another task to focus on.

Small Changes - Big drastic lifestyle changes are hard to maintain. We tend to deprive ourselves and then give up and go overboard. Take little steps towards positive change. If you want to spend less on food, pack lunch one more time each week instead of eating out. For those looking to be more educated, choose one article to read each week.

Set up Accountability - Look for a friend or professional to help you reach your goals. Share your goals with a friend so that they can check in with you and keep you accountable. Hiring a financial planner to be your financial life coach will allow you to look at all of your goals and create a plan to reach them.

While January is the month society focuses on for fresh starts every day is a chance to start again. If your plans to make changes in January don't happen, rethink, replan and start again. On the path to progress we may take a wrong turn, don't give up and turn around, correct your direction and keep moving forward.

Kate lives in Hornell, New York with her husband and two children. Go to Kate’s Bio for more about her.

How to Make the Holidays Full of Emotional Wealth

In this week’s blog, Financial Planner Kerrie Beene, CFP® shares ideas on how to make the holidays more meaningful.

As I was preparing to write this article, I had many different ideas; ways to save money while shopping, ways to reduce holiday stress, and ways to find the perfect gift.  However, if I am being honest, that really isn’t what I want the holidays to be about. When I think about the holiday season I have many different emotions; excitement, stress, joy, overwhelm, sadness.  However, as I get older and learn to cherish time more than anything, I realize that the Holidays are a very special time that should not be taken for granted and I do not want the negative emotions to overshadow the positive emotions.  

So this year I am choosing to do the following 3 things and encourage everyone to consider doing them also:

Suggestion #1: Don’t get caught up in Consumerism 

Consumerism is the preoccupation of society with the acquisition of consumer goods. Basically, we like buying stuff… more than we should. The National Retail Federation conducted a study that breaks down American spending on gift buying during the holidays:

• 33% expected to spend at least $1000 on gifts.

• 22% expected to spend between $500 and $999.

• 29% expected gift spending to be between $100 and $499.

• 3% planned to spend less than $100

• Remaining unknown

It is really easy to overspend trying to find the perfect gift for everyone. We live in a time where most people have the things they need and a majority of people have most of the things they want. 

So, I encourage you to not get caught up in consumerism.  Take the time do buy fewer, more meaningful gifts. 

Suggestion #2: Focus on the Little Things

Christmas is celebrated to remember the birth of Jesus Christ. Christmas is now celebrated by people around the world, whether they are Christians or not. It is a time for family and friends to come together and remember the good things. The gift giving part is to remind us of the gifts given to Jesus by The Wise Men. While, sometimes the gift giving is out of control, I do believe those we are buying gifts for are out of love. 

With the suggestion of “focus on the little things,” I am not telling you to buy people “little” gifts, I am saying focus on getting to know those you love. Feel free to buy them the smallest or biggest gift you prefer, however, spend the quality time to actually get to know them and find out the little things that they love or are important to them. Better yet, focus on them with the “little” amount of time you have with them during the Holidays. 

This leads to the 3rd Suggestion.

 Suggestion #3: Have Meaningful Conversations

Two things drive me crazy when talking to others: 1) While you are talking to them, they are looking at their cell phone, and 2) They are looking at you, but you can tell they are not actually listening to you. Sadly, this is the majority of the conversations I have.  Once you start paying “real” attention to people, you notice that most people are not paying attention to anyone, ever!

To listen intently, is to not only listen to what they are saying, but also to not be thinking about what you are going to say “next.”  Take the time to really listen to people. This is something we should definitely be doing during the Holidays, especially because we normally do not get to spend this type of quality time with the ones we love. 

P.S.  Put your cell phone down! If your excuse is that you use it for your camera, then treat it like a camera.  Take the picture and then put it away. All of those social media posts can be made later, when you are alone and away from the ones you need to be spending time with.