Tips for Taking Care of Yourself When You’re a Family Caregiver

By: Ann Arceo, AAMS®

November is National Family Caregivers Month! There are millions of heroes out there who provide care to their loved ones and their efforts are all too often overlooked. It’s not an easy job and the pressure caregivers put on themselves can be enormous. In honor of this important month, we’re outlining some steps you can take to take care of yourself emotionally and financially to make sure you can continue to provide great support to others. 

It’s Okay to Need a Break

There is no denying that being a family caregiver can be difficult and emotional. It's easy to fall into a trap of putting your own needs last, but how can you continue to be the best caregiver if you don’t also take care of your own mental and physical health? No one can do a job all the time without needing breaks to recharge. Think about the activities that would be most meaningful to you such as going to the gym, meeting up with friends, attending to personal chores and doctor’s appointments. You may feel guilty about wanting breaks, but it can be beneficial for your loved one as well as it gives them a chance to interact with someone new and have a change of scenery or routine. 

You can start by enlisting family and friends to help. Be specific with the help you need. CareGiver Action Network has an article that can assist you with “Defining the Help You Need.” It might be that you need half a day each month to attend to personal chores or maybe an out of town relative can come for a visit allowing you to take a vacation. Make a list of the care and chores you provide (mowing the lawn, cleaning, cooking, attending doctor’s appointments) and think about the ones that are the most difficult for you. This will help you find outside services such as Meals on Wheels or friends and family that can pitch in. Each state has an agency that lists the resources available for aging and disabled adults (Local Agency on Aging).

We know not everyone will have family and friends they can ask for help. There are also many services that provide respite care (in-home help, adult daycare) to give you a much needed break. ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center is a wonderful tool that can help you find care assistance in your area. The website also discusses how to pay for respite care through state or federal programs such as Medicaid if your loved one qualifies. There are also volunteer organizations that offer free assistance. ElderHelp can help you find local volunteers. You may also want to check with your church as there are many faith based organizations that offer volunteer help. 

Talk to Someone

Being a caregiver for a loved one can certainly be rewarding, but if you aren’t careful to tend to your needs, it can also increase your risk of depression. “A report from the Family Caregiver Alliance found that 40%-70% of caregivers have symptoms of depression.” Certainly, following the steps above to give yourself breaks to recharge can be a huge help in boosting your own quality of life. Also, joining a support group or speaking to a therapist can help you cope with the demands of providing care. You can also talk to your doctor as they can offer advice for treatment or therapy if you are dealing with depression. 

There is no shame in acknowledging that you need support. Joining a group of other caregivers either in-person or online gives you the chance to connect with others who will understand the challenges and emotions involved in being a caregiver. This article lists several support groups so you can find the one that best matches your situation: 23 Popular Online and In-person Caregiver Support Groups

Take Charge & Plan For Your Own Financial & Long Term Care Goals

It’s understandable that in the middle of all that you have going on that it’s hard to think about planning for your financial future and possible long-term care needs. Remember that long-term care planning puts you in charge of your future and is a gift to your loved ones as they’ll have a clear idea of your wishes. Also, as you may know from your own experience as a caregiver, government programs can be limited when it comes to paying for long term care. That’s why it’s crucial to have a financial plan and explore options such as long term care insurance. It’s also important to meet with an estate planning attorney to make sure you have the proper documents in place including a Medical Power of Attorney. 

You know as a caregiver that there are lots of additional practical details to consider. If you decide to stay in your home, how will you deal with stairs, home maintenance, and cleaning?  The American Academy of Family Physicians Foundation has a list of resources that can help you think through the details and start a conversation with your family.   AARP has a detailed workbook that can help you build your own long term care plan. The process of making a plan and having those difficult conversations with family members isn’t easy. However, the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have a plan, and you’ve taken some of the burden off your loved ones is worth it.  

Caregivers certainly make our world a better place with their love, compassion, and patience, but even superheroes need a break.  We hope that as we celebrate you this month, you can use the resources and tools listed above to prioritize your needs, plan your future, and find a support network who will be there with you on your journey. 

So Long Summer Slump, School is in Session

By: Rachel Poe

Summertime, a period full of pool floats, travel, and leisure. Summer 2020 still captures these activities…inflatable kiddie pool on the porch, frequent travels to the fridge, and leisure aka quarantine. Regardless of how one spent this extended summer vacation, it is now time for parents and students alike to prepare for the upcoming school year. Those not involved directly with schools, the time is now to refresh horn honking and practice your road rage speeches.

Jokes aside, the next couple weeks is a crucial time to prepare for the upcoming time, mental, and monetary commitments that are approaching with the reintroduction of schools. With the majority of schools having closed for summer early, it is important to start considering the process of transition as we come out of a longer duration of summer vacation. Whether in grade school, college, or continued education, keep reading for some tips to help get back in the swing of things.

Fill the Well

One of the most important things to do when preparing for any type of event change in your life is to fill your cup. Mentally preparing for the change before it comes will aid in transitioning period. Whether this is taking a weekend to relax, reading scripture, diving into a book, connecting with family, or going dark on social media, use this time to connect with yourself. Think of it this way, if your glass is empty, you are not setting yourself up to pour into the glass of your children, spouse, coworkers, etc.

Get Ahead

As financial planners, you may think this comes easy for us. In reality, trying to plan at the last second is stressful and inconvenient. Our “trick”, plan in advance! There are many ways this could be taken: planning out vacation days, finalizing a chore chart, beginning morning/evening routines, deciding snack staples, discussing carpool, library visits, or scoping outfit/supplies selections. Carving out the time associated with your particular school will help transition students into school schedules. Whatever this looks like for you, beginning the steps to answering some of these questions may help relieve some of the stresses associated with “Back to School” festivities.

Make it Fun

While parents may be more excited than children to head back to school, do your best to get them pumped! Specifically with COVID, this may be a time to highlight the ability to see friends, meet new teachers, begin some school activities, etc. One way my mother would help boost school would be through shopping! Although I had uniforms, we would partake in Tax Free - Back To School Holidays as a time to get new supplies and deals for school. Specific states like Alaska, Delaware, Montana, New Hampshire and Oregon don’t charge sales tax statewide. It is important to look into your specific state to see if you are able to take advantage of any back to school events. Get creative - use this time to take some lessons learned during the break to jump start the school year!

Lastly, in a previous blog post, 5 Benefits of Budgeting, I go through some core reasons to begin the budgeting process. With school expenses including supplies, technology, outfits, food, etc. it is never to late to begin getting your expenses in order.

Contact us today to learn more about how to start!

Wife Appreciation Week

In this weeks edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, financial planner Scott DuMond, CFP® shares his appreciation for his lovely wife Valerie. Scott doesn’t directly state this, but you can read between the lines on how much he puts a value on the work that his wife contributes to the household.

By: Scott DuMond, CFP®

Proverbs 18:22 states “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” and I agree heartily. I am a far better man than I would have been because of my wife. She is my teammate, partner, companion, and love of my life.

Ben Franklin once shared “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” This is a wise saying. Yes, we should all be very mindful and careful before saying “I do.” However, once we do, we want it to be forever and that is a conscious daily choice. My wife and I do not keep our eyes half closed in marriage rather we respond to each other with grace instead of focusing on each other’s short comings.  In other words, we act like a team and support one another rather than tear one another down. We know we are both imperfect beings and thus do not demand perfection from the other. This allows me to be incredibly thankful for the woman she is, and she is able to be thankful for the man that I am. Together we can accomplish much more and have a good return on our labor because everything she does, I don’t have to do and everything I do, she doesn’t have to do.

Some common things heard in our house from both our mouths include:“I love doing life with you” and “Thank you for marrying me”

In our household there are four of us: my wife, Valerie; my son, David, a senior in high school; my son, Daniel, a junior in high school and myself. With three adult males in the house my wife often says that she lives in a guy’s dorm. While my sons and I work alongside my wife in doing the household chores such as cooking, dishes, laundry and yard-work, I realize the bulk of the work at home is done by Valerie. She is the last to sit down, the first to get up and the first to serve someone. She is always available to help someone with their homework or any other need.

I would like to take this moment to say thank you to my wife, my mom and all other wives out there.

1.       Thank you for loving us men and putting up with us.

2.       Thank you for supporting us and helping us to be better men.

3.       Thank you for praying for us.

4.       Thank you that we can make a mistake and still know that we are loved by you.

5.       Thank you for the hard work you put into your career and still come home and serve the family.

6.       Thank you for all the meals that you have cooked and all the messes that you have cleaned up.

7.       Thank you for making things nice.

8.       Thank you for all the times you are standing and working when the rest of us are done for the day.

9.       Thank you for not letting me go out of the house “dressed like that.”

10.   Thank you for being you.

Men, love your wives. Please remember to:

1.       Love her and appreciate her for who she is.

2.       Tell her that you love her and show her by your actions.

3.       Look for opportunities to bless her every day and not just when Hallmark tells you to.

4.       Pray for her.

5.       Never say any word that will make her wonder about your love for her.

6.       Remember how beautiful she truly is and tell her so.

7.       Support her in the things she cares about.

8.       Do the chores that she hates.

9.       Pick up after yourself.

10.   Be a covering to her and protect her from doing too much and going beyond exhaustion.

I love my wife and am honored in every opportunity that I can bless her. Yes, often the things that need to be done take place when we both have put in a full day, are exhausted, and there is still more to do. There is a cost to serving one another and having a good marriage takes real work. However, having someone 100% on your side that you enjoy spending time with is priceless. Time to go to work men.

Assisted Living - Caring for Family and Friends

In this weeks edition of Morning Quarter-Buck, financial planner Becky Eason discusses a topic that is near and dear to her heart, as well as many of us who are faced with the decision of balancing the safety of our loved ones, with their emotional desire to stay at home.

By: Becky Eason

We all love our friends and family and want to make them as happy as possible. If you were to ask your friends and family what one of their hopes/wishes in life would be, it’s safe to assume that they would respond with being able to remain at home or at least out of a nursing home for as long as possible. 

Being able to fulfill the goal of keeping loved ones out of the nursing home for as long as possible can be challenging. I know exactly how challenging this can be, as I’ve been witnessing it firsthand with the efforts my parents have been going through with my grandparents. If you aren’t able to provide the care that is needed due to time or resource constraints, there are many programs available to help assist you. In Steuben County, New York for instance, there is a wonderful program available, Forward-Thinking Home Solutions. You may recognize this name from one of Amy’s Wine and Dime Podcasts where Amy interviewed the founder of Forward-Thinking, Sue Gruber. Sue will go into someone's home and make recommendations on what changes should be made to help keep your loved one living safely at home. She will also provide you with available resources and grants that you can apply for to help fund the necessary changes. If you don’t live in Steuben County don’t feel left out. There are programs all over the country that are there to support you. One such program that is available nationwide, is Meals on Wheels, which provides meals to individuals who are unable to prepare their own meals.

Maybe you aren’t able to keep your loved one at home but they aren’t yet ready for a nursing home. Your loved one might be able to go into an assisted living home. These homes provide a more independent lifestyle than a nursing home, but there are still staff members around at all times to help. Services that are provided at assisted living homes include meals, medication monitoring, personal care assistance, social activities, and housekeeping/laundry. 

Unfortunately, there will likely come a point when you must make the difficult decision to put your loved one in a nursing home. When you get to the point of having to make this decision it will very likely be emotional and you will question whether you made the right decision. If you are faced with this emotion, know that you aren’t alone and remind yourself that you did it for the safety of your loved one and those around you. 

The Intersection of Self Improvement and Wealth Improvement

In this weeks edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, financial planner Kerrie Beene, CFP® (our resident self-help “junky”) dives into her favorite topic! She shares the top 10 books, podcasts, and YouTube videos and her current favorite self-help tip.

By: Kerrie Beene, CFP®

September is designated as Self Improvement Month. Most of us want to “improve” and become better people.  Someone once coined the phrase, “there is always room to improve” and it has stuck around for decades. I firmly believe this.  Each day I think we should all wake up and say, “How can I be better than I was yesterday?” 

However, thinking about improving can be overwhelming. Especially given all the areas in life there are to improve.  My suggestion is to look at the 8 areas of life and just pick the one you need the most work on at this time.  

8 Areas of Life

• Personal/Spiritual Development

• Physical Environment

• Finances and Wealth

• Friends and Family

• Career/Business

• Fun, Recreation, and Entertainment

• Health and Fitness

• Love Life

Once you decide which area you need the most work on, your options to educate and improve yourself are limitless.  As a self help junkie, I use every form of consumption I am aware to absorb the information. You can read books, listen to content, attend seminars/webinars, etc.  

The self improvement industry in the United States continues to grow each year.  According to marketresearch.com, the self improvement industry was worth $10 billion in 2016 and continues to grow each year.  Below, I will list some of the easiest ways to increase your knowledge about how to “improve” yourself.

Reading - There are multiple books available for any area you would like.  Amazon has a list that updates hourly based on the top sales. Currently (August/September 2019) these are the top 10 books in the self improvement category.

1. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

2. Unlimited Memory - Kevin Horsley

3. Tribe of Mentors - Timothy Ferris

4. Find your Passion: 25 Questions you must ask yourself - Henri Junttila

5. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone - Lori Gottlieb

6. Showing up For Life - Bill Gates, Sr.

7. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Mark Manson

8. The Traveler’s Gift: 7 Decisions that Determine Personal Success - Andy Andrews

9. Empath: A Complete Guide for Developing Your Gift and Finding Your Sense of Self

10. Atomic Habits - James Clear

Listening - If you don’t like to read, consider listening to a book.  Audible.com has the section listed as “self development.” There are over 52,000 titles available and here are the current top 10.

1. Lightly: How to Live a Simple, Serene & Stress-Free Life - Francine Jay

2. Can’t Hurt Me: Master your Mind and Defy the Odds - David Goggins

3. Unf*ck Yourself: How to Get Out of Your Head and Into Your Life - Gary John Bishop

4. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey

5. Girl, Stop Apologizing - Rachel Hollis (one of our favorites on the team)

6.  Atomic Habits - James Clear

7. The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck - Mark Manson

8. Dare to Lead - Brene Brown (One of Amy’s Favorites)

9. How to Win Friends and Influence People - Dale Carnegie

10. Never Split the Difference: Negotiating as Your Life Depended On It - Chris Voss

Podcasts - this form of medium is a little newer to the market compared to reading and listening to books, but I believe it is here to stay.  Google listed it as best motivational podcasts and here are the Top 10

1. The School of Greatness with Lewis Howes

2. The Gary Vee Audio Experience

3. The Tim Ferris Show

4. Hidden Brain

5. Art of Charm

6. The Dave Ramsey Show

7. Oprah’s Super Soul Conversations

8. The Minimalists Podcast

9. This is Your Life

10. TED Talks Daily

YouTube - According to gedground.com, these are the most popular YouTube channels for Self Development

1. TED

2. Actualized.org

3. Evan Carmichael

4. Lewis Howes

5. GaryVee

6. Goalcast

7. Neil Patel

8. Be Inspired

These lists are a great start to those of us who are always looking to improve.  There are other options, like seminars, however these are the forms available at your fingertips daily.  

I have read and listened to most of the items listed above.  However, one thing I have noticed is that as I age and life gets busier, it is a little harder to improve in multiple areas of life at a fast pace and it can be overwhelming to think we need to improve in all areas of our lives.  My suggestion comes from one of the books listed above, Atomic Habits, focus on getting 1% better each day. Often when we look to improve, we set the goal so big that we lose motivation and feel overwhelmed. So focus on just getting 1% better.  For example, if your goal is to start exercising, just start walking everyday and create the habit instead of planning to run a marathon next month. Create the habit, then work on small improvements. If your goal is to read more, don’t buy the thickest book you can find and try to read it in a few days.  Grab a book and just set a goal to read 15-20 minutes before bedtime. “Be the Tortoise, Not the Hare.” Don’t forget, if you would like to improve your finances, that is our passion at Rooted Planning Group and we are here to help!

Good Luck with your Goals and Happy Self-Improvement Month

Peripheral Vision - A Wealth Strategy?

In this week’s blog, Financial Planner Amy Irvine, CFP®, MPAS®, EA, CCFC® explores a topic that many suffer with - using our peripheral vision to achieve our financial and wealth strategy goals. What are the barriers that many of us create? Are they real or perceived?

By: Amy Irvine, CFP®, MPAS®, EA, CCFC®

The other morning I was standing at the kitchen sink and I noticed two mosquitoes trapped between the screen and the window.  I slowly cranked open the awning type window to help them escape. I was intrigued as I watched them. At first they both continued to try to exit “through” the glass, but then one of them realized the opening at the bottom, flew out and landed on the opposite side of the glass.  The other one continued to struggle, banging repeatedly into the glass.

In my little mind, I could envision the one that escaped saying, “stop, look down.”  I stood there for probably 2 - 3 minutes longer watching this activity, thinking, go get your friend, show her the secret.  Coach her!

Isn’t it funny that no matter the species, we all have our panic defaults.  We all sometimes forget to use our peripheral vision to look at the situation differently.  We forget to step back and see what’s around us, what other solutions might exist? Have you ever found yourself trying to go “through the glass” time after time and ended up with the feeling of enormous stress?  Feeling defeated because you couldn’t achieve what you could see others doing, but just couldn’t figure out how they did it?

I’ve been there too.  It’s frustrating to say the least.  Sometimes it about money, career, professional or personal relationships, kids, parents, or even health.  

I often see this when we start working with a new client too.  Let’s face it, people don’t wake up one day and say, “I think I should work with a financial planner.”  Something is usually frustrating them and they’ve gotten to the point where they are on the inside of the glass and they see what everyone on “the other side” is doing, and just need someone to be that guide and show them what in their peripheral vision.  I’ve found that they often need to change their mindset.

That is why I was thrilled when I was recently introduced to Holly Segur, who is going to be on the Wine and Dime podcast in two weeks; she is a mindset mentor.  What does that mean? Holly focuses on three different mindsets, Money, Career and Personal. Of course when I heard money mindset, I just had to explore!  

I was thrilled when I heard the questions she was asking people to think about.   The idea of removing the barriers you’ve self-imposed and instead of continuing to go through the glass, go around it, or underneath it.  Many of the questions are very similar to the same questions we ask clients when we first get to know them - what are your doubts, fears, barriers?   Notice that these are all potential windows that we can’t seem to get through?  

As a starting point to growing your wealth, take a deep breath, sit back for a few minutes and explore these three questions in a journey to discovering your money mindset:

1. If money wasn’t a barrier, what you you change in your life?

2. What is the barrier?

3. Is that barrier real or do you just need someone to show you the peripheral views?

Building a Plan to Relax, not React

In this week’s blog, Financial Planner Kate Welker, CFP® shares her “money stress” story and provides some suggestions on how to plan for those unexpected moments so that when they happen, you can take a deep breathe and relax instead of react.

By: Kate Welker, CFP®

Relaxation. The word sounds so happy and peaceful. I recently saw that it was Relaxation Day on August 15th, and the thought of a day set aside for relaxation sounded great. Quiet, a good book, a comfy armchair, sunshine in a hammock, a massage; whatever your variety of relaxation, the thought is sure to bring a smile to your face. I am a huge proponent of taking down time to recharge, but sometimes if you are dealing with stress it can be almost impossible to relax. 

A 2017 report by the American Psychological Association lists money as the number two cause of stress in America. This means more people are stressed over money than they are over work, relationships, or their health. Financial stress can begin to go deeper and lead to problems with your health and relationships. I am sure many of you reading can relate to this - if not currently, you remember a time in the past. You may have experienced that moment when you try to relax and feel the panic rising thinking about the bills to pay or the tasks to be done.

When the problems are facing you it is easy to just try to avoid it. “Try to not think about it or talk about it and it won’t be real.” Obviously this is not a solution and will only make the situation worse, but it’s how we naturally want to work. It’s not fun to look at problems or talk about them so avoidance happens, but the only way to work through them and find some sense of control is to face your problems and make a plan. 

Following are a few suggestions of things you can do to help bring some breathing room and sense of control around your finances:

Face the situation. I mentioned you have to stop hiding from the situation, this means you will look at everything and have it in one place. Write down your bills coming up, the debt you might have to pay, and any long term goals you need to save for. Just seeing this written out and organized in one place should help with staying on track and making a plan going forward.

Missing a payment can be stressful. We all make mistakes and can miss things here or there, but if you find this being a consistent issue establish a system that works or you. Most vendors have online accounts that allow you to set up payments in advance. If it is scheduled you know it will be paid, there just needs to be diligence in leaving the appropriate funds in that account. A method here could be to have a bank account that is only for paying bills. This account gets funded first to cover all the bills to be paid each month and it is not touched for outside spending. Another method is a paper calendar where you write in everything on the due date and refer to that weekly. 

One of the things I think helps ease the anxiety around money is building an emergency fund. It is not always easy to do, but by making it a priority to build up those emergency reserves will eliminate a large amount of “what if” stress. Just knowing the funds are available if the car breaks down or your child flushes a toy down the toilet and your entire sewer lines need to be excavated and replaced (speaking from experience there) should help you worry less. Start with a small goal of $500-$1,000 and build towards a larger goal over time. Make it a priority to contribute to this and if an unexpected lump sum of money comes in like a tax refund use this to continue building that cushion.

Building a financial plan with clients, I will often state that one of my goals is to reduce their stress and worry over their financial picture. Choosing to look at your situation and take control can change your mentality around your finances. Sometimes it’s the little steps that are the hardest to take, but a series of them eventually gets you to your destination. 

Fraud Protection and Simplifying Your Life

Did you know that this week is both fraud protection and simplify your life week? I don’t know about you, but I feel like this is a contradiction of terms. It seems that in order to protect myself from fraud, I have to create very complex passwords, wary of whom my information is going to, and often increasing the complexity of my life. In this week’s edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, Financial Planner Becky Eason (aka Partridge) discusses how to marry these two concepts.

By: Becky Eason

For many years now it seems that there are non-stop scams going around. Have you ever been a victim of fraud or identity theft? If you have, you’re not alone. If you haven’t been, then hopefully we can help you reduce your chances of having to go through that.

Simplifying will help you with so many aspects of life, including those that you may not have ever imagined. Stress is a very serious condition, often caused by being overwhelmed. I know that for myself that if I see clutter around me I get stressed and frequently ask myself “Where do I even start?” A great way to start simplifying, is to get in the habit of filing away papers/receipts that you know you will need, throwing out papers that you don’t need (but make sure there is no personal information on them), and shredding the papers with personal information that you don’t need.

Doing this will not only help with the overwhelmed feeling but it will also increase your security. For the papers that you need to keep, put them in a secure place, such as a locked filing cabinet. If you have documents that require extra protection you could consider a fire-proof safe, or a safety deposit box at a local financial institution. With having these documents in a secure location you are minimizing your risk for fraud.

Pertaining to documents, please be aware of what you are sending across email. It’s very easy for documents to be intercepted by the wrong party. Do your best to not send anything with your social security number, account numbers, or usernames and passwords. If you do have to send these items, you can use encryption to help keep the information more secure. 

Another thing to do to protect yourself from fraud is to change your passwords on a regular basis. It’s so easy to think “I’ll change my password later” but then forget. Maybe you intentionally don’t change your passwords because of the fear and or hassle of forgetting what you changed it to. There are a number of great secure password managers out there such as “LastPass” which allow you to store all of your passwords in a secure vault with just one complex password that you have to remember (and change). If you use a password manager like “LastPass” make sure that your password is very strong, as if someone figures out this password they have access to virtually all of your stuff.

When you take measures to protect your identity it may seem like you are making your life more complicated, but trust me, it’s much easier in the long run to take preventive measures than to need to take legal action. Please be aware of who is asking for your information and why they are asking. If you ever have a suspicion that something doesn’t seem “right” trust your instinct and ask someone you trust. It’s okay to ask why they need it and what they need it for!

Living the "Happy Money" Life

In this week's edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, Financial Planner and CFP® Will Morrison discusses the journey to find happiness, the science of “happier spending,” and how he’s implementing it in his life. Perhaps he will give you ideas on how to implement it into your life?

By: Will Morrison, CFP

There are two things I try to accomplish each summer, my summer reading list and some memorable road trips.  Last year I went to a conference and there was an expert in happiness. The happiness expert had a fabulous presentation of all these different scenarios of things that cause happiness (and things that don’t).  The expert, Elizabeth Dunn, even wrote a book called Happy Money- The Science of Happier Spending. I found her so fascinating that I added her book to my already ambitious Summer 2019 Summer Reading list. Well, with one month or so to go until the kids are back in school (the unofficial end of summer) I have little chance of getting this book read. But I do have an epic road trip planned as a farewell to summer journey!

Some people hate driving, the thought of driving for 12 hours a day sounds pretty brutal. Now add three kids to the mix and some people might find this to be hell on Earth. For whatever reason this is my happy place.  I also find that road trips are a great place to teach kids lessons about money. 

Last year our first major stop on our trip out west was to Fort Mandan, North Dakota which is part of the Lewis and Clark National Historical Trail.  When we got out of the minivan, the kids didn’t run for the log cabins to see the expedition’s living quarters, nor did they run to the giant statue of Lewis and Clark’s Newfoundland. Nope, they went right for the gift shop! “Dad, can I get this?” “Dad, I want one of these!” I really don’t know how it hit me, but at that point I thought to myself that I needed to find a way to keep them from asking to buy something at every gas station and tourist stop on our vacation. 

I’d read a few books in the past on parent’s being overbearing with how kid’s spend their money and I wanted to allow my kids to have free choice over how their money was spent.  I ended up giving each kid $20 each to spend on our 9-day vacation. They were allowed to spend it on whatever they wanted: A Lewis and Clark compass (good choice son!), a stuffed animal purchased at the Lewis and Clark visitor center that had nothing to do with Lewis and Clark (I kept my mouth shut and let middle child get it!), and an assortment of M&Ms, suckers, and soda pop (oh, my youngest…).  How did it turn out? Well by the time we got to Yellowstone 2 days later, my then 5 year-old daughter was out of money, my then 8 year-old son had $5 dollars left, and my then 4-year old candy junky had $13 left. 

At this point it sounds like an absolute failure of an idea, but it worked out pretty well. Having set the expectation that they only had that set amount of money, once the money was gone they didn’t pester me to buy things they didn’t have enough money to buy.  They actually browsed around the Yellowstone gift shop without any expectation of getting something! And one of the most amazing things to me? That dumb random stuffed animal that my daughter bought at Fort Mandan is one of her favorite stuffed animals that she sleeps with every night. 

Stay tuned for this years adventure - we’ll be taking our 2019 family road trip out west at the beginning of August, wish me luck!

Gorgeous Grandma Day

In this week’s edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, we honor our #GorgeousGrandmas. I remember talking to my grandma when I was a little girl - she had so much wisdom and a wealth of knowledge! We hope you enjoy this edition and we’d love to hear your #GorgeousGrandma stories!

By: Kim Anderson, CPA
Fargo, North Dakota

July 23, 2019 is National Gorgeous Grandma Day, so let the world know how gorgeous your Grandma truly is by posting pictures of you two having a blast. Be sure to tag the photo with #GorgeousGrandma.

My gorgeous Grandma was born in 1910 in Lone Rock, Iowa and passed away in 2006. She lost my grandpa in 1977 which means she spent the next 29 years as a widow. Her Social Security checks were around $400 per month so she didn’t have much in the way of liquid assets, though she did own a house, 360 acres of land, and some farm machinery. She would occasionally receive phone calls from people she thought were up to no good, but she knew enough to hang up the phone before they could speak more than two words. Because of her sound mind and ability to hear well up until she moved into a nursing home, she kept a skeptical mind when strangers called or came to visit.  To the best of my knowledge, no stranger was ever able to exploit or otherwise take advantage of her. She was the best Grandma anyone could ask for (and she was really smart too)!

For some of us, our #GorgeousGrandma family members are not so fortunate. The U.S. Department of Justice has an “Elder Justice Initiative” page which gives information on Senior Scam Alerts and provides an Elder Abuse Resource Roadmap. There is also a section listing ways that we can get involved to help our #Gorgeous Grandma from becoming a victim. The National Council on Aging (www.ncoa.org) has a list of the Top 10 Financial Scams Targeting Seniors that is worth reading and  www.SeniorLiving.org has an abundance of information on the topic of Elder Fraud & Abuse.

We’d like to think that our Grandma is “smart enough” not to fall for any scam but if you have a Grandma like mine who is thoughtful and kind, it’s hard to say “NO”. A favorite scam of scammers is when someone calls your Grandma and tells them he/she is their grandchild, is stranded far away from home, and could Grandma please wire money so the “grandchild” can get home. How can thoughtful and kind Grandma say “no” to such a desperate request? When I was working as a Bank Examiner, an employee at a bank we visited stopped the financial exploitation of an elderly woman by noticing the unusual activity in her bank account then talking to the woman’s son about what may be going on.

It’s important that each of us do our part to protect our #GorgeousGrandma, but because scammers, fraudsters, and close relatives (yes, even they can take advantage of your Grandma) are always coming up with new and innovative ways of financial exploitation, we need the help of law enforcement. On June 13, 2019, the U.S. Department of Justice (DOJ) announced the creation of the Transnational Elder Fraud Strike Force. Prior to the announcement of the strike force, the DOJ conducted massive elder fraud sweeps in 2018 and 2019. The historic elder fraud sweeps revealed useful information about the types of foreign-based fraud schemes that disproportionately affect American seniors. As a consequence, the new strike force will focus on the following three types of elder fraud schemes:  mass-mailing fraud, tech-support fraud and telemarketing fraud.

If you are concerned about the cognitive ability of your #GorgeousGrandma (or your Handsome Grandpa), Rooted Planning Group offers a Whealthcare Financial Caretaking assessment wherein we can help you monitor the reasoning abilities of your living treasures so that they don’t end up a victim of scammers.  Contact us and we will help you determine if this assessment is right for you.

Since we are celebrating Gorgeous Grandma Day, help keep her safe and sound by learning the basics of elder fraud & financial exploitation and keep a keen eye out for red flags. And don’t forget – post that picture of you two having fun!