Tips for Taking Care of Yourself When You’re a Family Caregiver

By: Ann Arceo, AAMS®

November is National Family Caregivers Month! There are millions of heroes out there who provide care to their loved ones and their efforts are all too often overlooked. It’s not an easy job and the pressure caregivers put on themselves can be enormous. In honor of this important month, we’re outlining some steps you can take to take care of yourself emotionally and financially to make sure you can continue to provide great support to others. 

It’s Okay to Need a Break

There is no denying that being a family caregiver can be difficult and emotional. It's easy to fall into a trap of putting your own needs last, but how can you continue to be the best caregiver if you don’t also take care of your own mental and physical health? No one can do a job all the time without needing breaks to recharge. Think about the activities that would be most meaningful to you such as going to the gym, meeting up with friends, attending to personal chores and doctor’s appointments. You may feel guilty about wanting breaks, but it can be beneficial for your loved one as well as it gives them a chance to interact with someone new and have a change of scenery or routine. 

You can start by enlisting family and friends to help. Be specific with the help you need. CareGiver Action Network has an article that can assist you with “Defining the Help You Need.” It might be that you need half a day each month to attend to personal chores or maybe an out of town relative can come for a visit allowing you to take a vacation. Make a list of the care and chores you provide (mowing the lawn, cleaning, cooking, attending doctor’s appointments) and think about the ones that are the most difficult for you. This will help you find outside services such as Meals on Wheels or friends and family that can pitch in. Each state has an agency that lists the resources available for aging and disabled adults (Local Agency on Aging).

We know not everyone will have family and friends they can ask for help. There are also many services that provide respite care (in-home help, adult daycare) to give you a much needed break. ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center is a wonderful tool that can help you find care assistance in your area. The website also discusses how to pay for respite care through state or federal programs such as Medicaid if your loved one qualifies. There are also volunteer organizations that offer free assistance. ElderHelp can help you find local volunteers. You may also want to check with your church as there are many faith based organizations that offer volunteer help. 

Talk to Someone

Being a caregiver for a loved one can certainly be rewarding, but if you aren’t careful to tend to your needs, it can also increase your risk of depression. “A report from the Family Caregiver Alliance found that 40%-70% of caregivers have symptoms of depression.” Certainly, following the steps above to give yourself breaks to recharge can be a huge help in boosting your own quality of life. Also, joining a support group or speaking to a therapist can help you cope with the demands of providing care. You can also talk to your doctor as they can offer advice for treatment or therapy if you are dealing with depression. 

There is no shame in acknowledging that you need support. Joining a group of other caregivers either in-person or online gives you the chance to connect with others who will understand the challenges and emotions involved in being a caregiver. This article lists several support groups so you can find the one that best matches your situation: 23 Popular Online and In-person Caregiver Support Groups

Take Charge & Plan For Your Own Financial & Long Term Care Goals

It’s understandable that in the middle of all that you have going on that it’s hard to think about planning for your financial future and possible long-term care needs. Remember that long-term care planning puts you in charge of your future and is a gift to your loved ones as they’ll have a clear idea of your wishes. Also, as you may know from your own experience as a caregiver, government programs can be limited when it comes to paying for long term care. That’s why it’s crucial to have a financial plan and explore options such as long term care insurance. It’s also important to meet with an estate planning attorney to make sure you have the proper documents in place including a Medical Power of Attorney. 

You know as a caregiver that there are lots of additional practical details to consider. If you decide to stay in your home, how will you deal with stairs, home maintenance, and cleaning?  The American Academy of Family Physicians Foundation has a list of resources that can help you think through the details and start a conversation with your family.   AARP has a detailed workbook that can help you build your own long term care plan. The process of making a plan and having those difficult conversations with family members isn’t easy. However, the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have a plan, and you’ve taken some of the burden off your loved ones is worth it.  

Caregivers certainly make our world a better place with their love, compassion, and patience, but even superheroes need a break.  We hope that as we celebrate you this month, you can use the resources and tools listed above to prioritize your needs, plan your future, and find a support network who will be there with you on your journey. 

Finding Ways to Save for College

By  Kate Welker, CFP®

It is again the back to school season. Preschool through college school will look different for students this year, but one thing is the same. The changing of the year, feeling of a fresh start, and thinking about the future year ahead. For older students we are discussing college plans and for those of you with young children you may be thinking about planning for your children's eventual college. With a growing student loan debt load in this country how to pay for college is a concern we like to address. I wanted to share some thoughts on a few unique ways to think about saving for education.

Childcare Expenses- If you are paying for daycare or after school programs this is a large expense you are already budgeting for and handling with your current income. Once your children are old enough to not need that expense, convert it and start putting that same amount into their college savings. Depending on the age of children and area you live most people are paying between $8,000 and $15,000 a year for daycare. As that number decreases and then goes away that is a large amount to be contributing each year. 

Side hustle- I've had a few friends recently start a small business on the side and nickname them "college fund" jobs. They are committing to putting all of the earnings from this new venture into college savings. 

Scholarships- This is a huge opportunity for your student to start earning funds for their education. This takes time and diligence on their part, but starting in their freshman year have them look for these opportunities. Have them search out competitions that focus around their strengths such as writing, debate, or technology.

Saving on College- Combined with saving for college consider ways to save ON college expenses. Being aware in advance of the full expenses of an institution along with the scholarship and aid available should make a major impact on your choice of where to attend. If there are scholarships available for a particular GPA or test score that is a goal to work towards. 

There are many other creative ways to fund that education goal. We enjoy working with our clients to find their solution. Once your child is in high school (9th grade is not too early!) we offer college planning services and in depth analysis that will compare college costs, grants available, and the total net cost. Contact us for a consultation! 

Uncork the FAFSA - College Planning

By: Becky Eason

Why complete the FAFSA?

As of October 1st, it’s officially FAFSA season for the 2020-2021 academic year. FAFSA stands for Free Application for Federal Student Aid and should be completed by all high school seniors who plan to attend a secondary education school as well as current college students who will be going to school again next year. This form is completed based on the prior year tax return, so if you, or your parents, have completed your 2018 tax return you are able to complete this application. As much as I’m sure you don’t like completing this form it’s very important that you do so, especially for the following reasons.

The primary reason that FAFSA needs to be filled out is that it’s required for financial aid. FAFSA needs to be completed by students who are attending public schools and many times for private schools as well. Did you know that every dollar you borrow in student loans will cost you approximately double by the time you pay back your loan? If you are eligible for any amount of financial aid anything that you receive will help you out tremendously when your student loans enter repayment status. If you receive $100 in financial aid that is actually like receiving $200 if you think about the amount in repayment terms. 

Even if you know or believe that you won’t be eligible for financial aid, it's important that you still complete the FAFSA. The reason for that is that in order to be eligible for federal student loans you need to have a completed FAFSA. Unfortunately, this is not a very well known fact and thus results in many students missing out on the advantages of federal student loans You may not be eligible for any financial aid but if you are able to get federal student loans it’s worth your time and effort to complete the FAFSA. So, why would you want a federal student loan over a private student loan? An advantage of all federal student loans is their built in death and disability clause. If the person who holds the student loan passes away before the loan is repaid it’s forgiven and the estate is not responsible for paying anything back. If the loan holder becomes permanently disabled they can apply for a disability discharge and if the discharge is granted then their federal student loans will be completely forgiven. Another reason for wanting a federal student loan is the ability to have an income based repayment option, especially for students who plan to enter a career that is eligible for Public Service Loan Forgiveness (PSLF). In no cases are private loans eligible for PSLF. Also, a federal student loan can be either subsidized or unsubsidized. A subsidized loan is need based, so not all who complete the FAFSA will be eligible for this loan but the unsubsidized loan has no need clauses attached to it. The great thing about the subsidized loan is that while the student is enrolled at least half time in college the government is paying the interest on the loan, whereas with the unsubsidized loan interest starts accruing as soon as the loan is taken out (as would a private student loan).  

Trust me, I know how dreaded it was to fill out the FAFSA but it is worth all of your time and effort. Please don’t delay in getting this completed, as schools have limited financial aid to offer and they do run out of money. Financial aid is offered on a first come first serve basis. 

Wife Appreciation Week

In this weeks edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, financial planner Scott DuMond, CFP® shares his appreciation for his lovely wife Valerie. Scott doesn’t directly state this, but you can read between the lines on how much he puts a value on the work that his wife contributes to the household.

By: Scott DuMond, CFP®

Proverbs 18:22 states “He who finds a wife finds a good thing” and I agree heartily. I am a far better man than I would have been because of my wife. She is my teammate, partner, companion, and love of my life.

Ben Franklin once shared “Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.” This is a wise saying. Yes, we should all be very mindful and careful before saying “I do.” However, once we do, we want it to be forever and that is a conscious daily choice. My wife and I do not keep our eyes half closed in marriage rather we respond to each other with grace instead of focusing on each other’s short comings.  In other words, we act like a team and support one another rather than tear one another down. We know we are both imperfect beings and thus do not demand perfection from the other. This allows me to be incredibly thankful for the woman she is, and she is able to be thankful for the man that I am. Together we can accomplish much more and have a good return on our labor because everything she does, I don’t have to do and everything I do, she doesn’t have to do.

Some common things heard in our house from both our mouths include:“I love doing life with you” and “Thank you for marrying me”

In our household there are four of us: my wife, Valerie; my son, David, a senior in high school; my son, Daniel, a junior in high school and myself. With three adult males in the house my wife often says that she lives in a guy’s dorm. While my sons and I work alongside my wife in doing the household chores such as cooking, dishes, laundry and yard-work, I realize the bulk of the work at home is done by Valerie. She is the last to sit down, the first to get up and the first to serve someone. She is always available to help someone with their homework or any other need.

I would like to take this moment to say thank you to my wife, my mom and all other wives out there.

1.       Thank you for loving us men and putting up with us.

2.       Thank you for supporting us and helping us to be better men.

3.       Thank you for praying for us.

4.       Thank you that we can make a mistake and still know that we are loved by you.

5.       Thank you for the hard work you put into your career and still come home and serve the family.

6.       Thank you for all the meals that you have cooked and all the messes that you have cleaned up.

7.       Thank you for making things nice.

8.       Thank you for all the times you are standing and working when the rest of us are done for the day.

9.       Thank you for not letting me go out of the house “dressed like that.”

10.   Thank you for being you.

Men, love your wives. Please remember to:

1.       Love her and appreciate her for who she is.

2.       Tell her that you love her and show her by your actions.

3.       Look for opportunities to bless her every day and not just when Hallmark tells you to.

4.       Pray for her.

5.       Never say any word that will make her wonder about your love for her.

6.       Remember how beautiful she truly is and tell her so.

7.       Support her in the things she cares about.

8.       Do the chores that she hates.

9.       Pick up after yourself.

10.   Be a covering to her and protect her from doing too much and going beyond exhaustion.

I love my wife and am honored in every opportunity that I can bless her. Yes, often the things that need to be done take place when we both have put in a full day, are exhausted, and there is still more to do. There is a cost to serving one another and having a good marriage takes real work. However, having someone 100% on your side that you enjoy spending time with is priceless. Time to go to work men.

Living the "Happy Money" Life

In this week's edition of Monday Morning Quarter-Buck, Financial Planner and CFP® Will Morrison discusses the journey to find happiness, the science of “happier spending,” and how he’s implementing it in his life. Perhaps he will give you ideas on how to implement it into your life?

By: Will Morrison, CFP

There are two things I try to accomplish each summer, my summer reading list and some memorable road trips.  Last year I went to a conference and there was an expert in happiness. The happiness expert had a fabulous presentation of all these different scenarios of things that cause happiness (and things that don’t).  The expert, Elizabeth Dunn, even wrote a book called Happy Money- The Science of Happier Spending. I found her so fascinating that I added her book to my already ambitious Summer 2019 Summer Reading list. Well, with one month or so to go until the kids are back in school (the unofficial end of summer) I have little chance of getting this book read. But I do have an epic road trip planned as a farewell to summer journey!

Some people hate driving, the thought of driving for 12 hours a day sounds pretty brutal. Now add three kids to the mix and some people might find this to be hell on Earth. For whatever reason this is my happy place.  I also find that road trips are a great place to teach kids lessons about money. 

Last year our first major stop on our trip out west was to Fort Mandan, North Dakota which is part of the Lewis and Clark National Historical Trail.  When we got out of the minivan, the kids didn’t run for the log cabins to see the expedition’s living quarters, nor did they run to the giant statue of Lewis and Clark’s Newfoundland. Nope, they went right for the gift shop! “Dad, can I get this?” “Dad, I want one of these!” I really don’t know how it hit me, but at that point I thought to myself that I needed to find a way to keep them from asking to buy something at every gas station and tourist stop on our vacation. 

I’d read a few books in the past on parent’s being overbearing with how kid’s spend their money and I wanted to allow my kids to have free choice over how their money was spent.  I ended up giving each kid $20 each to spend on our 9-day vacation. They were allowed to spend it on whatever they wanted: A Lewis and Clark compass (good choice son!), a stuffed animal purchased at the Lewis and Clark visitor center that had nothing to do with Lewis and Clark (I kept my mouth shut and let middle child get it!), and an assortment of M&Ms, suckers, and soda pop (oh, my youngest…).  How did it turn out? Well by the time we got to Yellowstone 2 days later, my then 5 year-old daughter was out of money, my then 8 year-old son had $5 dollars left, and my then 4-year old candy junky had $13 left. 

At this point it sounds like an absolute failure of an idea, but it worked out pretty well. Having set the expectation that they only had that set amount of money, once the money was gone they didn’t pester me to buy things they didn’t have enough money to buy.  They actually browsed around the Yellowstone gift shop without any expectation of getting something! And one of the most amazing things to me? That dumb random stuffed animal that my daughter bought at Fort Mandan is one of her favorite stuffed animals that she sleeps with every night. 

Stay tuned for this years adventure - we’ll be taking our 2019 family road trip out west at the beginning of August, wish me luck!