Tips for Taking Care of Yourself When You’re a Family Caregiver

By: Ann Arceo, AAMS®

November is National Family Caregivers Month! There are millions of heroes out there who provide care to their loved ones and their efforts are all too often overlooked. It’s not an easy job and the pressure caregivers put on themselves can be enormous. In honor of this important month, we’re outlining some steps you can take to take care of yourself emotionally and financially to make sure you can continue to provide great support to others. 

It’s Okay to Need a Break

There is no denying that being a family caregiver can be difficult and emotional. It's easy to fall into a trap of putting your own needs last, but how can you continue to be the best caregiver if you don’t also take care of your own mental and physical health? No one can do a job all the time without needing breaks to recharge. Think about the activities that would be most meaningful to you such as going to the gym, meeting up with friends, attending to personal chores and doctor’s appointments. You may feel guilty about wanting breaks, but it can be beneficial for your loved one as well as it gives them a chance to interact with someone new and have a change of scenery or routine. 

You can start by enlisting family and friends to help. Be specific with the help you need. CareGiver Action Network has an article that can assist you with “Defining the Help You Need.” It might be that you need half a day each month to attend to personal chores or maybe an out of town relative can come for a visit allowing you to take a vacation. Make a list of the care and chores you provide (mowing the lawn, cleaning, cooking, attending doctor’s appointments) and think about the ones that are the most difficult for you. This will help you find outside services such as Meals on Wheels or friends and family that can pitch in. Each state has an agency that lists the resources available for aging and disabled adults (Local Agency on Aging).

We know not everyone will have family and friends they can ask for help. There are also many services that provide respite care (in-home help, adult daycare) to give you a much needed break. ARCH National Respite Network and Resource Center is a wonderful tool that can help you find care assistance in your area. The website also discusses how to pay for respite care through state or federal programs such as Medicaid if your loved one qualifies. There are also volunteer organizations that offer free assistance. ElderHelp can help you find local volunteers. You may also want to check with your church as there are many faith based organizations that offer volunteer help. 

Talk to Someone

Being a caregiver for a loved one can certainly be rewarding, but if you aren’t careful to tend to your needs, it can also increase your risk of depression. “A report from the Family Caregiver Alliance found that 40%-70% of caregivers have symptoms of depression.” Certainly, following the steps above to give yourself breaks to recharge can be a huge help in boosting your own quality of life. Also, joining a support group or speaking to a therapist can help you cope with the demands of providing care. You can also talk to your doctor as they can offer advice for treatment or therapy if you are dealing with depression. 

There is no shame in acknowledging that you need support. Joining a group of other caregivers either in-person or online gives you the chance to connect with others who will understand the challenges and emotions involved in being a caregiver. This article lists several support groups so you can find the one that best matches your situation: 23 Popular Online and In-person Caregiver Support Groups

Take Charge & Plan For Your Own Financial & Long Term Care Goals

It’s understandable that in the middle of all that you have going on that it’s hard to think about planning for your financial future and possible long-term care needs. Remember that long-term care planning puts you in charge of your future and is a gift to your loved ones as they’ll have a clear idea of your wishes. Also, as you may know from your own experience as a caregiver, government programs can be limited when it comes to paying for long term care. That’s why it’s crucial to have a financial plan and explore options such as long term care insurance. It’s also important to meet with an estate planning attorney to make sure you have the proper documents in place including a Medical Power of Attorney. 

You know as a caregiver that there are lots of additional practical details to consider. If you decide to stay in your home, how will you deal with stairs, home maintenance, and cleaning?  The American Academy of Family Physicians Foundation has a list of resources that can help you think through the details and start a conversation with your family.   AARP has a detailed workbook that can help you build your own long term care plan. The process of making a plan and having those difficult conversations with family members isn’t easy. However, the peace of mind that comes with knowing you have a plan, and you’ve taken some of the burden off your loved ones is worth it.  

Caregivers certainly make our world a better place with their love, compassion, and patience, but even superheroes need a break.  We hope that as we celebrate you this month, you can use the resources and tools listed above to prioritize your needs, plan your future, and find a support network who will be there with you on your journey. 

So Long Summer Slump, School is in Session

By: Rachel Poe

Summertime, a period full of pool floats, travel, and leisure. Summer 2020 still captures these activities…inflatable kiddie pool on the porch, frequent travels to the fridge, and leisure aka quarantine. Regardless of how one spent this extended summer vacation, it is now time for parents and students alike to prepare for the upcoming school year. Those not involved directly with schools, the time is now to refresh horn honking and practice your road rage speeches.

Jokes aside, the next couple weeks is a crucial time to prepare for the upcoming time, mental, and monetary commitments that are approaching with the reintroduction of schools. With the majority of schools having closed for summer early, it is important to start considering the process of transition as we come out of a longer duration of summer vacation. Whether in grade school, college, or continued education, keep reading for some tips to help get back in the swing of things.

Fill the Well

One of the most important things to do when preparing for any type of event change in your life is to fill your cup. Mentally preparing for the change before it comes will aid in transitioning period. Whether this is taking a weekend to relax, reading scripture, diving into a book, connecting with family, or going dark on social media, use this time to connect with yourself. Think of it this way, if your glass is empty, you are not setting yourself up to pour into the glass of your children, spouse, coworkers, etc.

Get Ahead

As financial planners, you may think this comes easy for us. In reality, trying to plan at the last second is stressful and inconvenient. Our “trick”, plan in advance! There are many ways this could be taken: planning out vacation days, finalizing a chore chart, beginning morning/evening routines, deciding snack staples, discussing carpool, library visits, or scoping outfit/supplies selections. Carving out the time associated with your particular school will help transition students into school schedules. Whatever this looks like for you, beginning the steps to answering some of these questions may help relieve some of the stresses associated with “Back to School” festivities.

Make it Fun

While parents may be more excited than children to head back to school, do your best to get them pumped! Specifically with COVID, this may be a time to highlight the ability to see friends, meet new teachers, begin some school activities, etc. One way my mother would help boost school would be through shopping! Although I had uniforms, we would partake in Tax Free - Back To School Holidays as a time to get new supplies and deals for school. Specific states like Alaska, Delaware, Montana, New Hampshire and Oregon don’t charge sales tax statewide. It is important to look into your specific state to see if you are able to take advantage of any back to school events. Get creative - use this time to take some lessons learned during the break to jump start the school year!

Lastly, in a previous blog post, 5 Benefits of Budgeting, I go through some core reasons to begin the budgeting process. With school expenses including supplies, technology, outfits, food, etc. it is never to late to begin getting your expenses in order.

Contact us today to learn more about how to start!