September 25, 2023
Question:
It’s hard to talk to my spouse/partner about finances and our budget; any tips?
Answer:
First, know that you are not alone. We hear this a lot. Unfortunately, many people carry around money trama, so getting to the root of that is essential. Amy Irvine (who is a Certified Financial Therapist-Level I™ Professional) provides these tips:
Set a money date with each other and be ready to listen and be open. Don't try to solve a problem during the first meeting, just make a list of all the concerns and fears.
Consider talking through your money Psychology with each other. Is one of you a love and belonging spender and one of you a safety and security saver? How can both of you "win" if your personalities are different?
Consider hiring a third-party to listen to both sides - they may help you find the words to communicate with each other; providing you with talking topics that will help you get to the bottom of what makes the conversation hard.
Note: If one person simply puts their head in the sand when it comes to money, we understand that can create significant conflict and stress. This takes work to resolve, but some training Amy was provided though the Financial Therapy Association included:
Set the stage by framing the conflict as an opportunity.
Separate the people from the problem and reframe the issue.
Focus on interests, not positions.
Develop options for mutual gain by focusing on the interests.
Do your friends ask you financial questions?
Pass those questions on to us at AskRPG@rootedpg.com and we will feature them in our future newsletters.